Halloween: Should Christians Participate Or Not?

So it's that time of year again when Christian parents are left wondering if they are evil for "celebrating" Halloween.

It's been called Satan's Day or the Devil's Day and all kinds of things. Here is my take on it:

As far as I am concerned, October 31st is just another day that GOD created. You know the verse, "This is the day that the Lord has made..." He made EVERY day. Satan can't take that day away from God OR from His children.

It's only the Devil's day if you give it to him.

So does dressing up in costumes and eating candy mean you are giving in to the pagan satanic rituals? I don't think so. Dressing up in costumes is something my boys do almost every day. And they love it. We are not dressing up like little demons or anything, I mean, are we really serving Satan by dressing our boys as cowboys and pirates? I have heard all the arguments. Thousands of years ago, people who served Satan dressed up and us dressing up now is continuing a tradition they started. I agree with that to a degree, but what I feel is that their hearts were evil, ours are not. God knows what my heart is and that of my kids. We are not "opening doors" for the devil to come into our homes and our lives. Satan only gets an in if we give him one, if we open our hearts to him. We are not doing that by walking around the neighborhood collecting candy.

We have open and honest conversations with our boys about what we do and do not believe and celebrate in regards to Halloween. We do not display witches and ghosts and the like. We avoid tings like that all together and tell our boys why.

Most of all, I think God would prefer us to be out amongst the neighbors, talking with them and sharing the love of Christ, rather than be cooped up in our homes with the shades drawn. I will not give in to fear. I will not teach my kids to be afraid of Halloween night because evil people are out there doing evil things. Greater is He that is in me than is in the world. We give too much to Satan. " The devil made me do it." and "Don't let Satan steal your victory" and on and on. The devil only takes what we give him.

Keep your heart pure and keep the words of Life on your lips.

October 31st is NOT Satan's night. It's God's, just like every other night.

That's the way I see it.

Parenting: Nurturing vs Spoiling

I was having an online conversation with some fellow moms on Twitter about the idea of where does the line of nurturing our children and spoiling them become blurred.  We were talking mainly on the idea of moms making lunches for their high school children. At first I was appalled at the idea of it. Even my 5 and 6 year olds help with packing their lunches! But as they explained their reasons, my judgy side had to take a seat.  Some working moms said it was one last "motherly " type thing they could do for their kids. Some stay at home moms said their children's schedules between school, sports and jobs were so busy that they felt it important to take care of that little detail for them, less stress on their busy child.  I get both of those reasons, they make sense to me and I can see their points.

I think it comes down to the attitude of the child, especially an older child.  If they have the attitude of expecting us to take care of their every need, I feel we are failing them.  As their parents, we absolutely want our children to feel safe and secure and taken care of of.  But I think we can do that without tending to their every need in unnecessary ways...spoiling them.

The one thing on my parenting list of DO NOT DO THIS is raise a child with a sense of entitlement.  There is nothing worse than a spoiled brat child who expects everyone to bow to them and give them their every desire. Except maybe a spoiled brat adult who acts that way.

Am I right?

So how do we care for our children, nurture them, provide their needs without spoiling them?

I'm sure there are entire books and psychological  studies done on the subject but here is what I think...

It's about the expectations we have of others.  I don't expect anyone to do anything above and beyond for me. So when they do, I am sincerely grateful.  And that it what I work hard at teaching, by modeling, to my boys.

I'm a stay at home.  I take care of most of the cooking and cleaning around here. And I don't mind, because, it's my job.  BUT, I have a very strong motto that my children know well, and that is:

"I'm the MOM not the MAID."

So, I expect my children to make their beds in the morning. Sure I could do it, I have time.  But it's a skill I want them to learn. And they are not going to learn it by coming home to a clean room and freshly made bed every day.

I have them help me pack their lunches.  They see what's going into it and why. We talk about eating our veggies before our cookie.  We talk about not throwing away things that could be eaten later, because food costs money and we need to be frugal and not wasteful.

They help with dishes and laundry and dusting.  I could do it all, and on especially busy weeks, I might.  But how will my children learn those life skills if I don't teach them?  How will they learn that just because we are tired or busy or just plain don't want to, things still need to be done.

The laundry fairy is not real.

Oh how I wish she were.

I want them to know that I will always help them take care of themselves, but I don't want them to automatically expect that I will do everything for them.

When they are grown up, I want my boys to be equipped with all sorts of life skills.  I want them to be able to take care of themselves.

Don't get me wrong, I spoil my kids.  Plenty.  But it has always been very important to me that while I spoil, I also teach gratitude.  I'm proud of the fact that my boys are appreciative of the things that are given to them and done for them. I have worked hard at that!

How?

I point out opportunities to be grateful.  I say things like, "Wasn't that nice of so-and-so to do for us? I sure am grateful for that, I think I'll send them a little thank you card!"  I'm demonstrating kindness and gratitude through my own actions.  And THAT is how we teach our children.  That is how they become grateful.

They see it in us.

I model grateful behavior by telling my husband thank you for working so hard to provide our needs.  By letting others go before me in line. By leaving the last muffin for someone else because I've already had two. It's about modeling unselfish behavior.  "Wow, she was really nice to bring muffins for everyone. I'm grateful that I even got one muffin, much less two, I think I'll leave that last one for someone else rather than taking it for myself."

Our children learn by watching us. See a behavior in your child that you don't like? Stop and take a look in the mirror. Ouch.  I know. We might not be demonstrating that particular behavior, but maybe we are overlooking it and not expecting more from our child?

No matter what we do for our kids or how much, when they respond with a "thank you", not an "it's about time", we have nurtured, not spoiled.

If my child says, "HEY, where's my drink?" Instead of "Mom, could you please get me a drink?" I have spoiled, not nurtured.

You can obviously see the difference.  There is a thin line, but a big difference in outcome.

I still have a lot to learn about this subject, and so do my kids.  But we are trying, and that is the most important thing!

What do you think about nurturing vs spoiling?

Recipe: Homemade Pop Tarts

First of all, please notice that this is under the Dessert label, not the Breakfast label.  That's because Pop Tarts are NOT breakfast food. I can not for the life of me understand why they have been pawned off for breakfast.

"Here, dear small child who's body is still growing and developing, start your day with white carbs, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, food dyes and chemicals disguised as fruit filling!"


Not so much.  These are dessert. OK?

Oh, and never mind the fact that I brought these to Church this week. On physical fitness weekend. For breakfast.

Now Ill stop judging the pop tart eaters of America and being a hypocrite and share the recipe with you.

:)

When looking around for a recipe for these I found several but stuck pretty closely to the one I found at The Smitten Kitchen. I really couldn't have done it any better so I'll just let you go over there for the full recipe and give you the quick run down!


Homemade Pop Tarts


Pastry
2 cups (8 1/2 ounces) all-purpose flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup (2 sticks or 8 ounces) softened unsalted butter, cut into pats
1 large egg
2 tablespoons (1 ounce) milk
1 additional large egg (to brush on pastry)

Mix dough together and roll out. Use a pizza cutter to cut into a rectangle.

Cut into equal squares.  I made a quadruple batch here.   You can cut the squares as big or small as you like!

Brush the square that you will fill with the second egg.  It acts like a glue.  Then fill!  There are all kinds of things you can fill them with. I made Brown Sugar and Cinnamon, Blueberry, Strawberry and Nutella (my personal favorite).

Brown Sugar and Cinnamon Filling
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 to 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cinnamon, to taste
4 teaspoons all-purpose flour
Mix together. Fill pastry.

Jam Filling
3/4 cup (8 ounces) jam
1 tablespoon cornstarch mixed with 1 tablespoon cold water
Mix the jam with the cornstarch/water in a small saucepan. Bring the mixture to a boil, and simmer, stirring, for 2 minutes. Remove from the heat, and set aside to cool. Use to fill the pastry tarts.

 Place second pastry over top and press seams together to seal.

Crimp edges with a fork. Also poke a few steam holes in the top.

Bake for 20 to 25 minutes at 350 degrees, until they’re a light golden brown. Cool.

Top with frosting if you like. I used a powdered sugar glaze.  I don't really have a recipe for it, basically I mixed about 1 cup of powdered sugar with a couple of tablespoons of milk and a dash of vanilla. Add more or less of each until you get the consistency you want.  It's pretty drippy (yes, that's a word), but it will harden!  Before it hardens add some sprinkles!

Blueberry

Nutella
(Just use a spoon full of nutella for the filling!)

Brown Sugar and Cinnamon

Strawberry

YUM. The End.

This post linked to:
Beauty and Bedlam's Tasty Tuesday

A Southern Fairytale

Love and Logic Parenting Tip: Sibling Rivalry

If anyone knows anything about Sibling Rivalry, it's the Lehmans.

My husband came from a family of five kids.  I had two brothers.  We have three boys.

Yeah, we know sibling rivalry.

I wasn't always sure, however, how to deal with it.  Until I found Love and Logic. I listened to the Sibling Rivalry Cd over and over and over and I learned sooooo much.

If you are dealing with (or better yet, know you are going to deal with in the future) sibling rivalry, I guarantee that you will have an easier time with it if you prepare yourself with some Love and Logic tips and techniques!

So here are the points I have found that help us the most!

First of all, it will happen.  No matter how hunky-dory your kids may get along, there will be some level of sibling rivalry!

Focus on the things that you CAN control about your children's fighting, arguing and overall not getting along.  Here are a few tips from the latest L& L Insider's Club Email.

Listed below are just a few of the many things we can control:

1. Whether we do extra things for kids who are battling with each other.
It's perfectly reasonable for a parent to say, "This is such a bummer. I'm tired-out from listening to you arguing with each other. I don't have the energy to drive you to your friends' houses."
2. Whether we allow certain items to remain in our homes.
A friend of ours said to her kids, "This is so sad. Every time you guys play with that game you get in a fight. I gave it away so it wouldn't be a problem anymore."
3. Whether we allow their fighting to interrupt our responsibilities and time.
Have you ever noticed how kids tend to argue and bicker with each other when you are trying to do something that requires your complete attention such as trying to talk on the phone? If you feel secure that your kids won’t harm each other, it's probably best to say, "This is really draining my energy. You guys need to work this out or go your separate ways."
4. Whether we give them "bonding opportunities."
When your kids start to battle with each other, experiment with saying, "Sounds like you guys need some bonding time." Then assign them some chores to give them an opportunity to feel the love.

I love these tips. They are quick and easy to remember.  If you are drowning in sibling rivalry, write those points down and stick them on the fridge!  Step back from arguing with your kids and let them handle their own battles!


My favorite thing to do when my boys are fighting is to make them sit on opposite ends of the couch.  Then, they have to sit there and talk out the problem they are having. At first I had to sit in between them so they wouldn't pummel one another and I helped them talk things out, taught them how to voice what they wanted and then offered suggestions on how to solve the problem.  Now, they can usually handle it on their own.   Even at 5 and 6, Charlie and Chase can problem solve! It's wonderful!  

But it hasn't come easily and it was WORK.  But the end result is so worth it!  

So when I see them fighting, all I have to say is "To the couch!" and they know what to do.  Then, if no agreement can be made or they refuse to talk or calm down, they just sit!  Doesn't bother me!  They are each responsible for when the other can get up.  So, Chase decides when Charlie is done sitting and Charlie decides when Chase is done sitting.  Once in awhile, one will get ridiculous and say, "I am NEVER letting you get up!" And I may have to step in, but generally, they both agree when it's time to get up and let each other off the hook.  It works!  The fight usually ends in agreement or at least a, "Let's just forget about it and go play something else."  Which works for me too!


So be bold with your ideas and make your kids responsible for their own behavior when it comes to sibling rivalry!  Don't step in to every argument they have.  You will just wear yourself out!  Set limits, control what you can and step back and let them do the work!


Never work harder on your child's problems than they do!!!




This is not a sponsored or paid post.

You Know You're A Mom of Boys When...

You say, "Say that again, I couldn't hear you over all the farting."

And then they do. 

And no one laughs.

Because it was truth.

Boys In Motion

I was given this link by a Twitter friend about Boys In Motion.  Um, yeah, I think I got that covered!

I think my point has been made.

What's REALLY In Your Food?

I have a lot to say about the whole "what's really in your food" statement, but I got this email today from Eat This Not That and I thought it was worth a quick share.  Their list discusses what's really in some of your favorite fast food and convenience items. Pretty interesting, check it out!

What's REALLY In Your Food?

Love and Logic Parenting Tip: Aren't There Enough Unpleasant, Rude People in the World?

This is this week's Love and Logic Insider's Club email. I love the subject matter of this one. Raising kind and respectful kids is top priority to me and I've mentioned before that the best way to raise a child like that is to be an adult like that! Here is what the email said about it:

 

"If there weren't enough pleasantness-challenged people in the world, there might be a good reason for creating more of them. But, as you've probably noticed, there seem to be plenty.

Mary is doing her part to increase the ratio of world niceness to nastiness. She also knows that nice kids are more likely to choose nice nursing homes for their elderly parents. As a result, she's careful to demonstrate niceness to the teller at the bank, to the mail carrier, to the grocery store checkout clerk, etc.

Mary has a secret: she doesn't always feel like being so pleasant to every one of these folks. Sometimes, she'd just as soon nod, grunt, or ignore them altogether. But Mary has her precious little daughter Shelby in tow as she goes to all these places and sees these individuals.

From my son's DVD, Painless Parenting for the Preschool Years, Mary was reminded that important values such as respect are "caught" by little ones through the powerful force of modeling. She could spend lots of time telling Shelby to be nice, but she has learned that it is far more effective to show Shelby exactly what it looks like.

Shelby has even learned to say nice things and smile as they progress through their day. And even at her young age, little Shelby has noticed that people seem to be happier around Mommy, and they often tend to be nice right back. Can you imagine the advantage Shelby might have when she's making friends or interviewing for jobs some day?

If only more moms and dads set out intentionally to model courtesy and respectfulness for their kids when they were driving, running errands, and interacting with other human beings. It just might work better than yelling, "Hey! You be nice!", when they are less-than-sweet."

So get out there and be an example of kindness and respect to your kids and to others!

The world thanks ya!



*Amazon Affiliate Link

Recipe: White Chicken Chili

This is one of our family favorites. It's easy, it's quick, it's delicious!  Oh, and it makes a big ol' pot of soup. Thanks to my dear friend Teri, who gave me this recipe years ago! (except I may have changed it?!)




White Chicken Chili





Ingredients:
4 cups cooked shredded chicken
1 onion and 2 cloves of garlic, sauteed together 
3 cans northern beans, drained and rinsed
6 cups chicken broth
1 (8oz) can Rotel (tomatoes with green chilies)
2 tsp ground cumin
1 1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp ground cloves


So I basically throw this all in a pot and bring to a simmer. Cook until warmed through and the beans are soft, but not mushy. Also works great in a crock pot! Just leave the beans for the last 10-15 minutes so they don't get mushy. We like to eat it over cooked elbow noodles. It is also good over tortilla chips.  Whatever you do, top it with shredded cheese and sour cream. Please, I'm begging you.


Enjoy!

This post linked to:
Beauty and Bedlam's Tasty Tuesday
11th Heaven's Homemaker Monday
Tempt My Tummy Tuesday 

Hormone Balancing Coffee Concoction

I heard about this wonderful coffee concoction from a local health food store a long time ago and was told my good friend that she drank it as well and loved the results. I enjoy the flavor and the health benefits are amazing!  If you are a coffee drinker and looking for a way to make it more health beneficial and less full of high fructose corn syrup flavored coffee creamer and hip enlarging white sugar (totally talking to myself here) then give this a try!

Here is some info that I found from ehow.com to help explain the why and how of this hormone balancing coffee drink:

"Keeping your hormones balanced is one of the most vital things you can do to keep your health in check. Hormones control many of the body's most important functions, such as blood pressure, metabolism and insulin. A mixture of coffee, cocoa and maple syrup has been shown to help keep your hormones balanced. A study done by Harvard Medical School shows that coffee may have anti-cancer properties and reduce the risk of diabetes. Cocoa beans are a good source of flavonoids, which are antioxidants. Maple syrup is rich in manganese and zinc, which are good for your heart and immune system."

Also, for the women folk, it can help with keeping your monthly rigmarole balanced as well! I've heard of women saying it keeps their periods (sorry men folk) lighter and their moods more balanced during that "I might kill somebody" time of the month. I may or may not have experienced the same results, but just in case my Dad is reading, I shall refrain from the details. (You're welcome, Dad...and the rest of the world.)

This mixture is also shown to aid people with osteoporosis!

So here is the "recipe":

Mix 1 teaspoon of pure cocoa powder and 1 teaspoon of grade B organic maple syrup in the bottom of a cup or a mug. Mix until the cocoa powder and maple syrup form a thick paste. (Be sure to use only grade B maple syrup as this is the only syrup that is bottled straight from the tree and goes through no processing.)

Fill up the cup with hot, freshly brewed coffee. With a spoon, mix until the drink is frothy.

Drink the coffee, cocoa and maple syrup mixture to regulate the stress hormone cortisol. Drink this Cobalamin, or vitamin B12, mixture first thing in the morning so your body is relaxed and stress free for the remainder of the day.

Here is the link to the full article from ehow.com that I got all this super duper information from.

Cheers!

Recipe: Roasted Chicken and Squash Soup

Fall is here!  My family loves soups so plan on getting plenty of soup recipes from me!  My kids weren't huge fans of this one but I absolutely loved it! They did eat it though.  There was homemade applesauce waiting for dessert! :)


Roasted Chicken and Squash Soup


Ingredients:
2-4 chicken breasts, cubed (I only used 2 to make it less chicken based and more veggie based, you do what you like!)
1 medium sized butternut squash (about 2 1/2 pounds) peeled, seeded and diced
1 small onion, diced
Olive oil, salt and pepper
4 cups chicken broth
1/4 tsp ground cumin
1/4 tsp garlic powder

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.  In a roasting pan or rimmed cookie sheet, toss the chicken, squash and onions with olive oil. Sprinkle with coarse salt and pepper.

Bake for about 30 minutes or until squash and chicken are cooked through.

Transfer chicken and squash mixture into a pot with the broth, garlic and cumin powders.  Bring to a simmer. Now, you can use a potato masher to mash the squash up completely, a little, or skip it and not mash it all. However you like it! I mashed about half of it.  Stir and cook over medium low heat until heated through and as thick as you like it.

Enjoy!

This post linked to:
Beauty and Bedlam's Tasty Tuesday
11th Heaven's Homemaker Monday
Tempt My Tummy Tuesday

Check them out for more great recipes!